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What a week it was last week. Starting on Tuesday when I went to the Dr for test results. Earlier in the month I had an appt with the gyn for the yearly. During the appt he ordered blood work to see if I was possible pre-menopausal. He also ordered an ultrasound. During the ultrasound they found a mass on my ovary and a fibroid on my uterus. He then added a CA-125 to my blood work. CA-125 is a blood test that can be used to test for ovarian cancer. What a wait that was..

Around the 19th I was on the phone with the Dr's office because I hadn't heard anything about the blood work, pap test was normal, but the blood work. The nurse just said, the Dr prefers to discuss the results in person, she just kept on, I made the appt but almost as soon as I hung up the phone my email notification went off on my phone. The email was from labcorp. For those who don't know lapcorp will allow you to view your test results when they come in. Yeah probably a good thing when you have thyroid issues like me, but not when you are waiting on some major test results like the CA-125. My heart sank when I opened the email. Thyroid was off..AGAIN, but everything else was normal, except for the CA-125. It was elevated. I started to cry, but just for a moment. I did some research and found it could be yes or it could be no because there are other things that can cause it to be elevated. The fact remained that I would have to wait to see the Dr to get his take on it.

Fast forward to the 26th. Dr appt. Another ultrasound before I even saw the Dr. As I waited to be taken to a room one of the nurses looked at me sad-eyed and asked if I was okay. I started to tear up. I knew then it wasn't good. They had me go back out the main waiting room while the Dr viewed the shots again. I was only there a few minutes  when I was led to a room. Dr. Godfree said that the blood work was elevated, the ultrasound showed a fairly large mass on my left ovary and he recommended that I go to a gynecological oncologist. Funny I thought I was prepared to hear that but I wasn't, I still cried. He assured me that my age was in my favor because ovarian cancer is rare in someone who isn't in menopause, and he also said that if it was definitely ovarian cancer, he was fairly confident that we had found it in time. He had the nurses get on getting me an appt at UAB. As they led me to the exit talking to me about what they would do for me, and how they would say prayers for me I cried. I didn't sob, I just cried. I saved the sobbing for when I got to the car. The entire day I cried. At times it was just a little cry, others it was sobbing. Scared.....

As luck would have it the Dr at UAB had a cancellation the very next day and so I immediately jumped on it. Wednesday...I woke that morning nervous as hell. Mom went with me to Birmingham. Sitting in the waiting room I fought back tears. Being led to a room I fought back tears. The nurse assured me I was in the best place. Exam and then consultation....Dr feels there is a chance the mass is just endometrial but as he said he won't know for sure until he does surgery and/or the pathology report comes back. So April 15th I will have a full hysterectomy.

So now I wait. I felt better when I left that day. Since then I have had good moments, I have had moments where I cleaned the office due to stress, then there were days like today where I have been on the verge of tears all day. Truth be told I am scared. I will be scared until I have the surgery and I know, know for sure on way or another.

I have slacked all the past week but it is time to work my butt off until surgery day. I will have a few weeks, barring any complications, that I won't be able to work out HARD, I will still be able to do thinks like yoga and walking, but not any of the jarring workouts.

Fear does a lot to a person, I just hope that I am able to get through all of this, no matter the outcome, without driving myself crazy (crazier).