It has been a long week. I am now 10 days out from my first treatment and while I haven't had to deal with vomiting, the other side effects, oh I have had them. I had them and I went to Florida. I probably shouldn't have made the trip to Florida but I did and am glad I did.
Food is an issue for me. I don't want to eat and when I do it tastes AWFUL! Mashed potatoes and chicken noodle soup are my mainstays right now and as far as fluids, it is gatorade and sweet tea. I am forcingmyself to drink water in the morning still to take my medicine but I can't seem to choke it down the rest of the day. I even tried some berry flavored water yesterday that Piggly Wiggly had on sale but EWWWW! The thing is, I WANT to drink water, and I want to eat but my body is rejecting it.
I have also slept a lot. Thank goodness for understanding friends in Fl, understanding family and understanding bosses. I hit certain points during the day where I can barely keep my eyes open and I am usually in bed a little after 9 (Last night I was out like a light by 9:15).
Today though I woke to my scalp hurting, more than it hurt last week. Today it hurt so bad I almost cried especially when I washed my hair. When I got to work of course I googled it and this is the pre-hair loss time. Most women actually recommended that you shave it in order for the pain to stop because apparently that is when it will stop hurting. Right now, at this moment, as long as I don't touch my scalp it isn't hurting too bad, but if I run my fingers through my hair, which I do often, it hurts like hell. Earlier I was going to see if Mark had room to shave it tomorrow and then I chickened out of calling him. Mark if you read this and you have room let me know. :) I don't have a scarf though and I am terrified that I am going to look stupid bald. I know that is so silly considering but it is weighing on me. Mom also said that my eyebrows are thinner. Maybe I won't have to get them waxed? I also haven't had to shave my legs. I shaved them last Wednesday and they are as smooth today as they were then. Guess that is a plus if there is a plus to chemo. I won't be wasting money and time on shaving my legs. Pits are the same as well.
Becasuse I can't find much to eat I am down 7 pounds since last Tuesday. I had actually almost hit 10 pounds but I drank so much Gatorade when I was preparing for the colonoscopy I think it made me gain some of it back so 7 pounds in a little over a week. That is a lot of weight to lose in such a short amount of time. I want to think it is maybe because my thyroid is finally functioning but we all know it is because I am only eating enough to not kill me. I had read so much that most women gain weight when going through chemo for Ovarian Cancer, but apparently I have to be the one to defy the odds. My goal was to just maintain throughout treatment and not gain. I know this shouldn't be something I need to worry about, but lets face it, this is me and I am weight obsessed. Hell the reason the cancer was found is partly because I am so weight obsessed. HOWEVER, the goal right now is to find foods I can tolerate and not gain, just maintain if possible. I plan on continuing to work out when it is possible to. I realize there will be days where my energy levels will be non-exsistent but I still plan to try.
So that is where I am right now with all of this. Next treatment is June 4th. I am sure between now and then there may be other side effects, other things that will arise, mood swings, hot flashes, mood swings, more mood swings but until then.....
Friday, May 24, 2013
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Chemo Round 1
Yesterday was a day full of differing emotions. I took pictures of myself, the Women's center at UAB, the IV after it was started, the IV machine during Bag 1 and then again during Bag 2. My chemo nurse, Karen, was great. I can imagine how horribly difficult her job must be to be surrounded by cancer all day. Lunch for her was eaten standing up and a bar area between the two chemo areas within our chemo room, that was she could monitor us. I of course, interrupted her lunch.
I learned that I am not on Carboplatin and Taxol but on Carboplatin and Taxotere. I am sure there are differences, okay I know there are differences in the two T's but when I researched it the Benadryl was so in control I couldn't begin to tell you what they are. I will say this, Poor Karen had a hell of a day with me.
When the IV was first started blood was drawn so that we can do the BRCA testing, 1 & 2. I learned there is only one lab in the country that does this testing and that the cost for me could be $0, $375 or $4000. Guess I will figure that one out when it gets here. It is a hugely important test and I should have my results within 10-14 days. Yes a little nervous because I figure I carry the gene but I have this going on right now so I am trying not to let it get me.
After the blood draw Karen began giving me saline and then ultimately added Benadryl and more steroids. The Benadryl is an attempt to stop an allergic reaction to the chemo drugs. Well as luck would have it, I had an allergic reaction to the Taxotere. They give you 20 mins, 15 mins in I thought I was dying. Karen and the nurse in the adjoining area, stopped the drug, gave me another bag of Benadryl and a shot of Hydrocortisone. Dr. Estes, who I must say was completely good looking, came in to check on me as the reaction was subsiding. He told me that the reaction happens in about 15% of patients. YAY Me! I was told to watch for back spams, like labor pains. Mine actually started in my stomach and gravitated to my back. I also felt like my face was on FIRE! I told Dr. Estes that at that point during labor I screamed for an epidural.
The rest of the day there was fairly uneventful. Having so much Benadryl in me made it a little hard to walk to the restroom but I managed. At the end Karen gave me a shot of some thing that starts with an "L" to boost my white cell counts which hurt like hell and is supposed to give me some bone pain. I think I fell asleep almost as soon as we got into the car. I remember being hungry and Mom asking me what I wanted to eat and remember telling her I would wait until I got home. That is it for the drive home.
We walked in the door and got my stuff settled and I released Mom from her duties. I took a pork chop out of the fridge ate two bites and about threw up. Bed, I needed my bed. I laid down and cat napped til Lorissa got home. Finding something for dinner was almost impossible. I finally settled on Honey Nut Cheerios and Lorissa asked a neighbor to take her to McD's. Next time I do better. Next time I prepare dinner before hand. I spent the rest of the night sleeping and when I was awake, trying to find something to eat. Cheese and crackers, NOPE, Milkshake, NOPE. I finally forced myself to eat an apple and peanut butter but it was crunchy PB which sucked.
Today I feel ehhh. Everyone said I would feel good today but I don't feel good, I feel Ehhh. I've had to take the anti-nausea meds but there has been no vomiting. I have finally eaten, well I drank an Orgain and ate a little cereal so I could take my steroids. I could sleep again and may in a minute close my eyes for a little while. I have a lot to do and really need to feel good today. I was sort of counting on it. The day is still young. For what I have to do I can do it in a short amount of time sooo....I think now I shall take a nap.
I learned that I am not on Carboplatin and Taxol but on Carboplatin and Taxotere. I am sure there are differences, okay I know there are differences in the two T's but when I researched it the Benadryl was so in control I couldn't begin to tell you what they are. I will say this, Poor Karen had a hell of a day with me.
When the IV was first started blood was drawn so that we can do the BRCA testing, 1 & 2. I learned there is only one lab in the country that does this testing and that the cost for me could be $0, $375 or $4000. Guess I will figure that one out when it gets here. It is a hugely important test and I should have my results within 10-14 days. Yes a little nervous because I figure I carry the gene but I have this going on right now so I am trying not to let it get me.
After the blood draw Karen began giving me saline and then ultimately added Benadryl and more steroids. The Benadryl is an attempt to stop an allergic reaction to the chemo drugs. Well as luck would have it, I had an allergic reaction to the Taxotere. They give you 20 mins, 15 mins in I thought I was dying. Karen and the nurse in the adjoining area, stopped the drug, gave me another bag of Benadryl and a shot of Hydrocortisone. Dr. Estes, who I must say was completely good looking, came in to check on me as the reaction was subsiding. He told me that the reaction happens in about 15% of patients. YAY Me! I was told to watch for back spams, like labor pains. Mine actually started in my stomach and gravitated to my back. I also felt like my face was on FIRE! I told Dr. Estes that at that point during labor I screamed for an epidural.
The rest of the day there was fairly uneventful. Having so much Benadryl in me made it a little hard to walk to the restroom but I managed. At the end Karen gave me a shot of some thing that starts with an "L" to boost my white cell counts which hurt like hell and is supposed to give me some bone pain. I think I fell asleep almost as soon as we got into the car. I remember being hungry and Mom asking me what I wanted to eat and remember telling her I would wait until I got home. That is it for the drive home.
We walked in the door and got my stuff settled and I released Mom from her duties. I took a pork chop out of the fridge ate two bites and about threw up. Bed, I needed my bed. I laid down and cat napped til Lorissa got home. Finding something for dinner was almost impossible. I finally settled on Honey Nut Cheerios and Lorissa asked a neighbor to take her to McD's. Next time I do better. Next time I prepare dinner before hand. I spent the rest of the night sleeping and when I was awake, trying to find something to eat. Cheese and crackers, NOPE, Milkshake, NOPE. I finally forced myself to eat an apple and peanut butter but it was crunchy PB which sucked.
Today I feel ehhh. Everyone said I would feel good today but I don't feel good, I feel Ehhh. I've had to take the anti-nausea meds but there has been no vomiting. I have finally eaten, well I drank an Orgain and ate a little cereal so I could take my steroids. I could sleep again and may in a minute close my eyes for a little while. I have a lot to do and really need to feel good today. I was sort of counting on it. The day is still young. For what I have to do I can do it in a short amount of time sooo....I think now I shall take a nap.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Chemo Eve
'Twas the night before chemo and all through my brain, flew thoughts of things I should have gotten or should have gotten done.
Floors to be mopped, vacuuming to do
dusting of the knick-knacks and the pick up of loose screws.
Furniture to be cleaned, and dogs to be washed
toilets to be scrubbed and salads to be tossed.
Scarves to be purchased and be ready to go, to cover the head where hair right now flows.
Comfortable clothes to wear for being prodded and poked, and fuzzy socks to protect my frozen little toes.
Nothing to some but to me it is stress, all of these things sitting on my list.
Tomorrow will come and may be I will be, in shape to accomplish one, two or three.
I guess right now I should take deep breaths, shower and ready my eyes for slumber's depths (HAHA).
So I know that is RIDICULOUS but when I was younger I LOVED to write poetry. I probably sucked as much then as I do now. However, it allowed me an out let to write down a few things.
I do have fuzzy socks and I have put the in my bag. I have packed a few magazines and my pretty blanket. I don't have the comfortable clothes and seriously have no idea what I will wear or what to even wear. I had hoped to be more prepared there.
I had also hoped to be a little more prepared at home. My house is no where near messy but I wanted it spotless. Ok I would settle for having been able to vacuum tonight but it just didn't happen. BUT I did get to workout! WOO HOO!
Damn it is almost 10pm. I have seriously got to get into bed because I need to be up no later than 5:30 to get the rest of me ready to go. Can't believe it is here. WOW!
Update tomorrow?
Floors to be mopped, vacuuming to do
dusting of the knick-knacks and the pick up of loose screws.
Furniture to be cleaned, and dogs to be washed
toilets to be scrubbed and salads to be tossed.
Scarves to be purchased and be ready to go, to cover the head where hair right now flows.
Comfortable clothes to wear for being prodded and poked, and fuzzy socks to protect my frozen little toes.
Nothing to some but to me it is stress, all of these things sitting on my list.
Tomorrow will come and may be I will be, in shape to accomplish one, two or three.
I guess right now I should take deep breaths, shower and ready my eyes for slumber's depths (HAHA).
So I know that is RIDICULOUS but when I was younger I LOVED to write poetry. I probably sucked as much then as I do now. However, it allowed me an out let to write down a few things.
I do have fuzzy socks and I have put the in my bag. I have packed a few magazines and my pretty blanket. I don't have the comfortable clothes and seriously have no idea what I will wear or what to even wear. I had hoped to be more prepared there.
I had also hoped to be a little more prepared at home. My house is no where near messy but I wanted it spotless. Ok I would settle for having been able to vacuum tonight but it just didn't happen. BUT I did get to workout! WOO HOO!
Damn it is almost 10pm. I have seriously got to get into bed because I need to be up no later than 5:30 to get the rest of me ready to go. Can't believe it is here. WOW!
Update tomorrow?
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Chemo & Running
After leaving work at 2:30 today I came home and slept for about 2 hours. It felt awesome, so awesome in fact that I really had to force myself to get up and lace up my shoes and make the drive to Noccalula Falls.
Tonight was Rookie Runners and the route was the trail at the falls. I had major hot flashes today and being outside in the humidity seriously made me question my sanity. Eventually I couldn't tell if I was sweating from the hot flashes or from the walk. I walked and walked some more and it was WONDERFUL! Oh how I wished I could run though. It was hard going down the trail to keep myself in check. The walk back was vicious on my legs and the area where the mass was. I find that funny for some reason. I mean it isn't there anymore but it hurt like it was. I will admit to attempting to run once it leveled out again for about a minute tops, it was probably more like 30 seconds. I had Lorissa yelling at me to stop it. Oh it was nice though. There is something very liberating in running. Why didn't I figure that out decades ago?
I have two races I want to do in June but am afraid to sign up. I don't know if I can run them while doing chemo, and the first one is on June 1. Will that be too soon after the first treatment for me to attempt it? June 1 is Color Me Rad in Birmingham and then June 8th is Rockin' The River here. I want to do them both. I don't want to lose what I am just falling in love with. UGH! Stupid cancer!
I guess I should try to find someone who is a runner and is going through or has gone through chemo and find out what they think or what they did.
Now onto the cancer part. Post op follow up went well. I am healing lovely, all stitches are still in place. The Sunday episode was my body's way of saying slow down. That is hard for me. I don't know how to work slow. There could be one of three things wrong with the colon though. 1) OC metastasized to my colon 2) It could be two cancers or 3) (which we will hope for) Internal hemorrhoids. Lovely thoughts aren't they? Anyway, I am now waiting on the GI dept to call and schedule my colonoscopy. I did forget to ask him about the PET scan. I know I needed to but I was so lost in the appt I forgot my notes.
The chemo portion went well also. Carboplatin and Taxol are the drugs of choice for my chemo. One will be administered and take about 3 hours and then the other will be administered again taking about 3 hours. I will be having BRCA1 and BRCA 2 testing done which if positive could put me into a whole other part of the ball field. Doc said I would absolutely lose my hair from the drugs and that I would feel rough for about a week, get a little time off and then would have another. Chemo will be given every 3 weeks and will start in 2 weeks. I have to be pre-certified through my insurance company first. More waiting. And the drugs, the first time at least, will be given in an IV and then we will decide after that about the port. Part of me wishes I had pushed the port yesterday but again so much info, so much to take in.
The reality of it all set in though when I saw the chemo room. It was cold, frigid, and shocking. I don't know what I was expecting but apparently this wasn't it. Each room had about 8 recliners in it for those receiving treatment. I was advised to dress warm if I get cold easily, and to bring something to do. I held it together during my "tour" but when I walked outside in the parking lot I had to really fight not falling apart. I knew what to expect. I know what to expect now but all of this seems like a dream. I guess it is up to me to make sure it is a good dream and not a bad dream right?
And on that note it is time for me to find dreamland. Here is hoping the hot flashes subside some tonight and I can rest peacefully.
Tonight was Rookie Runners and the route was the trail at the falls. I had major hot flashes today and being outside in the humidity seriously made me question my sanity. Eventually I couldn't tell if I was sweating from the hot flashes or from the walk. I walked and walked some more and it was WONDERFUL! Oh how I wished I could run though. It was hard going down the trail to keep myself in check. The walk back was vicious on my legs and the area where the mass was. I find that funny for some reason. I mean it isn't there anymore but it hurt like it was. I will admit to attempting to run once it leveled out again for about a minute tops, it was probably more like 30 seconds. I had Lorissa yelling at me to stop it. Oh it was nice though. There is something very liberating in running. Why didn't I figure that out decades ago?
I have two races I want to do in June but am afraid to sign up. I don't know if I can run them while doing chemo, and the first one is on June 1. Will that be too soon after the first treatment for me to attempt it? June 1 is Color Me Rad in Birmingham and then June 8th is Rockin' The River here. I want to do them both. I don't want to lose what I am just falling in love with. UGH! Stupid cancer!
I guess I should try to find someone who is a runner and is going through or has gone through chemo and find out what they think or what they did.
Now onto the cancer part. Post op follow up went well. I am healing lovely, all stitches are still in place. The Sunday episode was my body's way of saying slow down. That is hard for me. I don't know how to work slow. There could be one of three things wrong with the colon though. 1) OC metastasized to my colon 2) It could be two cancers or 3) (which we will hope for) Internal hemorrhoids. Lovely thoughts aren't they? Anyway, I am now waiting on the GI dept to call and schedule my colonoscopy. I did forget to ask him about the PET scan. I know I needed to but I was so lost in the appt I forgot my notes.
The chemo portion went well also. Carboplatin and Taxol are the drugs of choice for my chemo. One will be administered and take about 3 hours and then the other will be administered again taking about 3 hours. I will be having BRCA1 and BRCA 2 testing done which if positive could put me into a whole other part of the ball field. Doc said I would absolutely lose my hair from the drugs and that I would feel rough for about a week, get a little time off and then would have another. Chemo will be given every 3 weeks and will start in 2 weeks. I have to be pre-certified through my insurance company first. More waiting. And the drugs, the first time at least, will be given in an IV and then we will decide after that about the port. Part of me wishes I had pushed the port yesterday but again so much info, so much to take in.
The reality of it all set in though when I saw the chemo room. It was cold, frigid, and shocking. I don't know what I was expecting but apparently this wasn't it. Each room had about 8 recliners in it for those receiving treatment. I was advised to dress warm if I get cold easily, and to bring something to do. I held it together during my "tour" but when I walked outside in the parking lot I had to really fight not falling apart. I knew what to expect. I know what to expect now but all of this seems like a dream. I guess it is up to me to make sure it is a good dream and not a bad dream right?
And on that note it is time for me to find dreamland. Here is hoping the hot flashes subside some tonight and I can rest peacefully.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
It is Tuesday...One more day
My whole body feels tired tonight, more so than usual. Actually my body hurts, like my muscles hurt, and I am not going to lie a multitude of things run through my head about what could be wrong. Of course deep down I know that it is probably the lack of working out that is finally getting me. Oh how I miss working out. :( BUT....
Tomorrow is my post-op follow up as well as my chemo consultation. Tomorrow I find out what drugs, and when I will start. In my mind I want to start NO later than the 13th. I have a trip to Florida that I plan on leaving for on the 16th. It is a very important trip. A trip that has been planned since, January/February. And I refuse to have to miss it. Sooo I would actually prefer to have chemo on Friday, Thursday if possible, but I still have to get my port put in so I don't see Thursday being possible. UGH! Just so damn ready to get this part going. Trying to keep my nerves in check. It is getting so HARD!
I have been fortunate so far in the help that I have gotten from my Mother, the blanket from my sister but made by one of her friends, the cake made by my daughter's basketball coach, the special drinks bought for me by my brother, and the scarf made by my daughter's teacher. I also can't forget the friends. Does anyone realize how awesome it was to see them sporting teal today for me? I cried. I am so lucky to have such caring people in my life.
Now it sounds as if I am going to have to go remind my lovely daughter that she is not the only person in the house. :)
Tomorrow is my post-op follow up as well as my chemo consultation. Tomorrow I find out what drugs, and when I will start. In my mind I want to start NO later than the 13th. I have a trip to Florida that I plan on leaving for on the 16th. It is a very important trip. A trip that has been planned since, January/February. And I refuse to have to miss it. Sooo I would actually prefer to have chemo on Friday, Thursday if possible, but I still have to get my port put in so I don't see Thursday being possible. UGH! Just so damn ready to get this part going. Trying to keep my nerves in check. It is getting so HARD!
I have been fortunate so far in the help that I have gotten from my Mother, the blanket from my sister but made by one of her friends, the cake made by my daughter's basketball coach, the special drinks bought for me by my brother, and the scarf made by my daughter's teacher. I also can't forget the friends. Does anyone realize how awesome it was to see them sporting teal today for me? I cried. I am so lucky to have such caring people in my life.
Now it sounds as if I am going to have to go remind my lovely daughter that she is not the only person in the house. :)
Friday, May 3, 2013
Father....
The last two weeks has seen old friends offer encouraging words, co-workers, my daughter's friends parents, my daughter's basketball coach, my half-brother offer more than just encouraging words, hell even my second step-mother offered encouraging words. There were a couple of people that I hadn't heard from, one of them being my father. I moved back to Alabama in 2008 and have extended branches and he has never taken them. I have been the one to visit him, he has never seen where I lived so after a while I person just stops trying and that is where I am. However I will say that I assumed, and will continue to assume that he had heard through the grapevine that I have cancer. Hell it has been on my sister's FB page and she is friends with him on there. So he knew right? No way he couldn't. Fast forward to today...
Mom and I are trying to get together all of the things that are recommended for one going through chemo. Today she stopped by my step-mother's store to see if she had any of these things. Mom picked up a few things and was telling her about me being sick. She acted as if she didn't know, which I suppose is remotely possible but then she proceeds to tell my Mother that my Father had chemo and there are new drugs that didn't make him sick. I want to ask when the hell he had cancer in his damn ovaries! That is probably one of the worst things a person can say to me, about me right now. Do people not realize that there are different chemo drugs that target different cancers? Just because you had chemo for kidney cancer, as with him, so we have been told, and you didn't get sick doesn't mean that the chemo I get for ovarian cancer WON'T make me sick.
Days after my diagnosis, after menopause had started, I cancelled the friend request I had sent to my Father on FB and blocked him. I could plead menopause insanity but the truth of the matter is, it finally hit me at that point in time that those who loved and cared about me had already contacted me or were watching me from above. I didn't need him or the stress of him. Sooooo
It was his loss when he chose to not have anything to do with us when we were children, it is his loss now. It has always been his loss, his choice and it will always be his loss, not mine but this time it is my choice.
Mom and I are trying to get together all of the things that are recommended for one going through chemo. Today she stopped by my step-mother's store to see if she had any of these things. Mom picked up a few things and was telling her about me being sick. She acted as if she didn't know, which I suppose is remotely possible but then she proceeds to tell my Mother that my Father had chemo and there are new drugs that didn't make him sick. I want to ask when the hell he had cancer in his damn ovaries! That is probably one of the worst things a person can say to me, about me right now. Do people not realize that there are different chemo drugs that target different cancers? Just because you had chemo for kidney cancer, as with him, so we have been told, and you didn't get sick doesn't mean that the chemo I get for ovarian cancer WON'T make me sick.
Days after my diagnosis, after menopause had started, I cancelled the friend request I had sent to my Father on FB and blocked him. I could plead menopause insanity but the truth of the matter is, it finally hit me at that point in time that those who loved and cared about me had already contacted me or were watching me from above. I didn't need him or the stress of him. Sooooo
It was his loss when he chose to not have anything to do with us when we were children, it is his loss now. It has always been his loss, his choice and it will always be his loss, not mine but this time it is my choice.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
A momentary break in normal posts
Dear girls,
I realize you are all in your teen years and you don't quite understand the rules of things such as relationships, friendships, family relations but it is time to straighten the hell up.
1) Relationships with boys ----Chances are that at 15 or 16 years old you are not going to marry your current boyfriend. What you think is real love, is not real love. Love isn't based on lying for your bf when he is drunk and wrecks the car with you in it. Just because a boy compliments another girl who looks pretty one day doesn't mean he is "cheating" on you. You want someone to treat you nice, that you can have fun with, trust and have something in common with. Without these your puppy love will not last.
2) Friendships - I swear it seems like girls are even more cattier than when I was a teenager. I had one or two close friends at your age and would have walked over hot coals for them. I trusted that when I told them something, unless it was going to cause physical harm to myself or someone else, that what I told them in confidence would stay there. Today though you girls seem even more hateful towards each other. One day you argue and it is the end of the damn relationship. A true friendship can weather one of you being cranky and moody one day, a true friendship can come bounce back from an argument. It seems like y'all don't realize this. A boy should NEVER be allowed to break the bonds of a true friendship but the right boy should NEVER strain a friendship either. Bickering is almost guaranteed but if you are true friends you can get past it. If you think that you can see yourself friends in 20 yrs then it is up to you build up the foundation to continue strengthening the relationship.
3) Family relations --- Your family will be the people who in the end will be there for you through almost anything and you should begin being that person for them as well. Life isn't always about the drama at school, the drama surrounding friends and boyfriends. There are times when health problems or a crisis will arise and your family will need you to step up and focus your energy on the family and not on outside influences. Don't bring the drama and crap home. The added stress of your drama can bring down the mental health of those who are trying to get better.
The last thing is be your own person. A $70.00 pair of sandals, $100 jeans, $200 jacket should NEVER define who you are. Yor attitude, your character those are things that should define you. BE smart, be talented, be nice, be loving, be strong, be trustworthy, be remembered for who you help, not who you hurt.
Signed,
An Adult Girl
This was written out of frustration, frustration that has been building up all week, well for weeks. One of my daughter's closest friends hasn't spoken to her since right after Spring Break, she and another friend got into an argument earlier in the week and now they aren't speaking, and then came today. Today she calls and says that the friend from earlier in the week and another friend were talking about her today and then tells me that the other friend told her something which my daughter told another friend who then told the BF of the other friend. I was PISSED. I have tried to be that parent who teaches their child to NOT bully, to NOT talk bad about people, to RESPECT people even those her own age and today, I am not sure if it because of the health issues going on with me, but I felt I failed her. I am so ready for school to be over it isn't even funny. I am ready for maturity to set in for all of the girls at her school.
Frustrated Mom
I realize you are all in your teen years and you don't quite understand the rules of things such as relationships, friendships, family relations but it is time to straighten the hell up.
1) Relationships with boys ----Chances are that at 15 or 16 years old you are not going to marry your current boyfriend. What you think is real love, is not real love. Love isn't based on lying for your bf when he is drunk and wrecks the car with you in it. Just because a boy compliments another girl who looks pretty one day doesn't mean he is "cheating" on you. You want someone to treat you nice, that you can have fun with, trust and have something in common with. Without these your puppy love will not last.
2) Friendships - I swear it seems like girls are even more cattier than when I was a teenager. I had one or two close friends at your age and would have walked over hot coals for them. I trusted that when I told them something, unless it was going to cause physical harm to myself or someone else, that what I told them in confidence would stay there. Today though you girls seem even more hateful towards each other. One day you argue and it is the end of the damn relationship. A true friendship can weather one of you being cranky and moody one day, a true friendship can come bounce back from an argument. It seems like y'all don't realize this. A boy should NEVER be allowed to break the bonds of a true friendship but the right boy should NEVER strain a friendship either. Bickering is almost guaranteed but if you are true friends you can get past it. If you think that you can see yourself friends in 20 yrs then it is up to you build up the foundation to continue strengthening the relationship.
3) Family relations --- Your family will be the people who in the end will be there for you through almost anything and you should begin being that person for them as well. Life isn't always about the drama at school, the drama surrounding friends and boyfriends. There are times when health problems or a crisis will arise and your family will need you to step up and focus your energy on the family and not on outside influences. Don't bring the drama and crap home. The added stress of your drama can bring down the mental health of those who are trying to get better.
The last thing is be your own person. A $70.00 pair of sandals, $100 jeans, $200 jacket should NEVER define who you are. Yor attitude, your character those are things that should define you. BE smart, be talented, be nice, be loving, be strong, be trustworthy, be remembered for who you help, not who you hurt.
Signed,
An Adult Girl
This was written out of frustration, frustration that has been building up all week, well for weeks. One of my daughter's closest friends hasn't spoken to her since right after Spring Break, she and another friend got into an argument earlier in the week and now they aren't speaking, and then came today. Today she calls and says that the friend from earlier in the week and another friend were talking about her today and then tells me that the other friend told her something which my daughter told another friend who then told the BF of the other friend. I was PISSED. I have tried to be that parent who teaches their child to NOT bully, to NOT talk bad about people, to RESPECT people even those her own age and today, I am not sure if it because of the health issues going on with me, but I felt I failed her. I am so ready for school to be over it isn't even funny. I am ready for maturity to set in for all of the girls at her school.
Frustrated Mom
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