Father....

The last two weeks has seen old friends offer encouraging words, co-workers, my daughter's friends parents, my daughter's basketball coach, my half-brother  offer more than just encouraging words, hell even my second step-mother offered encouraging words. There were a couple of people that I hadn't heard from, one of them being my father. I moved back to Alabama in 2008 and have extended branches and he has never taken them. I have been the one to visit him, he has never seen where I lived so after a while I person just stops trying and that is where I am. However I will say that I assumed, and will continue to assume that he had heard through the grapevine that I have cancer. Hell it has been on my sister's FB page and she is friends with him on there. So he knew right? No way he couldn't.  Fast forward to today...

Mom and I are trying to get together all of the things that are recommended for one going through chemo. Today she stopped by my step-mother's store to see if she had any of these things. Mom picked up a few things and was telling her about me being sick. She acted as if she didn't know, which I suppose is remotely possible but then she proceeds to tell my Mother that my Father had chemo and there are new drugs that didn't make him sick. I want to ask when the hell he had cancer in his damn ovaries! That is probably one of the worst things a person can say to me, about me right now. Do people not realize that there are different chemo drugs that target different cancers? Just because you had chemo for kidney cancer, as with him, so we have been told, and you didn't get sick doesn't mean that the chemo I get for ovarian cancer WON'T make me sick.

Days after my diagnosis, after menopause had started, I cancelled the friend request I had sent to my Father on FB and blocked him. I could plead menopause insanity but the truth of the matter is, it finally hit me at that point in time that those who loved and cared about me had already contacted me or were watching me from above. I didn't need him or the stress of him. Sooooo

It was his loss when he chose to not have anything to do with us when we were children, it is his loss now. It has always been his loss, his choice and it will always be his loss, not mine but this time it is my choice.