It has been a long week. I am now 10 days out from my first treatment and while I haven't had to deal with vomiting, the other side effects, oh I have had them. I had them and I went to Florida. I probably shouldn't have made the trip to Florida but I did and am glad I did.
Food is an issue for me. I don't want to eat and when I do it tastes AWFUL! Mashed potatoes and chicken noodle soup are my mainstays right now and as far as fluids, it is gatorade and sweet tea. I am forcingmyself to drink water in the morning still to take my medicine but I can't seem to choke it down the rest of the day. I even tried some berry flavored water yesterday that Piggly Wiggly had on sale but EWWWW! The thing is, I WANT to drink water, and I want to eat but my body is rejecting it.
I have also slept a lot. Thank goodness for understanding friends in Fl, understanding family and understanding bosses. I hit certain points during the day where I can barely keep my eyes open and I am usually in bed a little after 9 (Last night I was out like a light by 9:15).
Today though I woke to my scalp hurting, more than it hurt last week. Today it hurt so bad I almost cried especially when I washed my hair. When I got to work of course I googled it and this is the pre-hair loss time. Most women actually recommended that you shave it in order for the pain to stop because apparently that is when it will stop hurting. Right now, at this moment, as long as I don't touch my scalp it isn't hurting too bad, but if I run my fingers through my hair, which I do often, it hurts like hell. Earlier I was going to see if Mark had room to shave it tomorrow and then I chickened out of calling him. Mark if you read this and you have room let me know. :) I don't have a scarf though and I am terrified that I am going to look stupid bald. I know that is so silly considering but it is weighing on me. Mom also said that my eyebrows are thinner. Maybe I won't have to get them waxed? I also haven't had to shave my legs. I shaved them last Wednesday and they are as smooth today as they were then. Guess that is a plus if there is a plus to chemo. I won't be wasting money and time on shaving my legs. Pits are the same as well.
Becasuse I can't find much to eat I am down 7 pounds since last Tuesday. I had actually almost hit 10 pounds but I drank so much Gatorade when I was preparing for the colonoscopy I think it made me gain some of it back so 7 pounds in a little over a week. That is a lot of weight to lose in such a short amount of time. I want to think it is maybe because my thyroid is finally functioning but we all know it is because I am only eating enough to not kill me. I had read so much that most women gain weight when going through chemo for Ovarian Cancer, but apparently I have to be the one to defy the odds. My goal was to just maintain throughout treatment and not gain. I know this shouldn't be something I need to worry about, but lets face it, this is me and I am weight obsessed. Hell the reason the cancer was found is partly because I am so weight obsessed. HOWEVER, the goal right now is to find foods I can tolerate and not gain, just maintain if possible. I plan on continuing to work out when it is possible to. I realize there will be days where my energy levels will be non-exsistent but I still plan to try.
So that is where I am right now with all of this. Next treatment is June 4th. I am sure between now and then there may be other side effects, other things that will arise, mood swings, hot flashes, mood swings, more mood swings but until then.....
No comments:
Post a Comment