I have had a ton of thoughts pop into my head about what I wanted to write about tonight. I knew that I should have started this post earlier and then just updated it as the day progressed because now, at 10:16pm, I am having trouble remembering what those thoughts were.
First, the fever is back. I just don't understand. I didn't run one the entire day, I didn't "run the roads" as Mom calls it. As a matter of fact I took it crazy easy today. I was going to make an appt with my family practice Dr tomorrow about getting something to temporarily help my moods until I find out about hormone replacement. I have read that I can't take hormone meds until I finish chemo so I guess that will be something I will discuss on May 8th when I go back to Dr. Straughn. I guess Dr. Ayres can try to help me figure out what the fever is from. Knowing my luck it is sinuses.
Second, I started making a list of things I wanted to do and things I needed to get before I started chemo. They are really stupid...
1) New pillows. My pillows are two yrs old and have lost their fluff. I washed them about a month ago and it worked for about a week but then flattened out again. Think it is time to reinvest.
2) Paint my bedroom. I know that for about 2 days almost straight, if not more, I will be spending a great deal of time in here and it would be nice if it were a real color and the one wall of wallpaper was gone.
3) Find proper a proper nightstand. Right now this room is a piece meal furniture and my nightstand is an end table which I hate. It blocks the closet door and is more in the way than not.
4) Find two scarves in basic colors. Scarves targeted to people with cancer are outrageously expensive so I am on a mission to find just a couple basic ones that aren't going to cost $60 each.
5) I want a new tattoo. I know it isn't going to happen, but I want one.
The next few are strictly related to chemo.
I read an article from the American Cancer Society and apparently my chemo is dangerous to those around me so I am going to have to invest in
6) Clorox Wipes
7) Long Rubber Gloves
8) Disposable latex Gloves
Then for me because the chemo can cause mouth sores and dry out your skin
9) Extra soft bristle toothbrush
10) Biotene Mouthwash
11) Really good lotions - thinking Body Shop Body Butter.
There are more to add to the list I am sure but those are the ones I have remembered to write down today.
Third....While I didn't cry as much today over having cancer, I did find myself get very jealous of people I saw running in the neighborhood today. This latest and greatest attempt at running is my third and it seems like every time something knocks me back down. Well as soon as I get back to it I am going to. I may be even slower than I was, and I was damn slow, but I will do it. Or at least I want to do it. I know that right now I can't run but will I be able to run while I am doing chemo? I guess that is a question for the Dr.
I read also that I need to get my teeth cleaned before chemo because I can't while I am in treatment. I wonder if BCBS will allow me to move my cleaning up by 2 months. Probably not. I wonder what the cost is for a cleaning. Note to self - Call Dentist
Well I suppose I should make an attempt at sleeping. Last night was a horrible night so I desperately need this to be a good night.
Sleep Tight.
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