By now anyone who is close to me, who is family, or who bothers to read my blog or what I post on facebook, or cares what I post on facebook knows that I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. Dr. Straughn my gynecological oncologist was so shocked it was cancer that on Tuesday, the day after my hysterectomy, that when he came by for morning rounds he apologized. Initially, in addition to the cancer in my ovary he was worried about a lymph node that looked suspicious and he biopsied the fatty tissue surrounding the area. There were people around me who took it hard, Adam, Joy, Lorissa, Jenn, and then some who expected it, Mom, and then there was me. When Adam told me what the Dr. thought the diagnosis was going to be he choked up. I told him he didn't have to finish because I knew and I did. Lorissa took it hard but yesterday, as awful as it sounds, I told her that enough was enough and it was time to dry those tears because tears weren't going to help me fight.
When I say I knew, I knew. As soon as the CA-125 came back elevated, I knew. No one else may have known but I knew and maybe that is what was important. I hate that everyone else was blind-sided but deep down it was what I knew that was important. There is a part of me that wants to go to my regular Dr. and say, "See I told you there was a medical reason I couldn't lose weight and why I was tired all of the time, and it wasn't sleep apnea.:, but what else could he do? I didn't fit the "criteria" for ovarian cancer. I had the symptoms and maybe if I had gone in and said I have lower back pain, and pelvic pain, and bloating, and pain in my leg and I am tired all of the time, and I can't lose weight, I don't eat much and when I do my stomach rumbles like a volcano because I am having digestive issues, that I am constipated but think I have to pee all of the time, if I had told him all of those maybe he would have known, but I had a reason for everything other than the battle with losing weight and the tiredness. I do think he will be more cautious with me because we all know that once you have cancer once you are more like to have another and once you have ovarian you are more likely to have breast cancer.
Anyway fast forward to today. I waited all day, all day to hear from the Dr. I ate a little bit of pizza and I mean a little because all I can seem to eat is just a little. On the drive home I called the Dr's office and left a message for the nurse. She called back at 2:29 and said that Dr. Straughn had gotten results back late Wednesday that he had been in surgery this morning and that she believed he was calling patients today. She said she would email him and give him my cell number to call me back on. I waited the rest of the afternoon. Pain pill kicked in so I laid down for about 30 mins, got back up and decided I would eat a chicken wing or two. I actually had 5 on the plate. I had eaten two and had taken a bite off the 3rd one when the phone rang. Dr. Straughn, it was 6:18. The news he gave me was much better than I could have hoped for. Where he was worried it was Stage 2 or Stage 3, it was Stage 1. I still have to go through 6 months of chemo but so much better than it could have been.
The 5 year survival rate for Stage 1, Grade 1 is 89%, better than 65ish% for Stage 2 and the 34ish % for Stage 3. I will take those odds. Actually I was going to take any odds and I was going to beat them. I was going to fight and I am still going to fight. I was going to win and I am still going to win. However, now I have a new mission. I want to save lives. I want to educate women, all people on this. If it hadn't been for a couple of symptoms I couldn't push off on something else, and a Dr. who is ready for retirement, I could have had a harder time fighting this battle and I could have lost. I owe so much for this diagnosis. Now if this swelling would go down and the little bit of pain I am having would go away I would be SOOOO much better!
So my blog will probably take a new direction for a while. I will still write about working out, and weight loss but there will be additions that will cover chemo and my journey. This is just another chapter right? Another leg of the journey we call life.
Thank you everyone who prayed and wished me well. I wish that I could bottle all of the positive energy y'all have given me over this week and give it away. Not everyone is as fortunate as I am to be surrounded by such wonderful people and that is sad. I hope that I can be that supportive to people when they need me.
Pain pill is kicking back in and fever is coming back up so maybe it is time to finish this rambling. Tonight hug your kids tight and tell your loved ones, friends and family you love them, and know that I love you all!
No comments:
Post a Comment